Minimalism: What does it actually look like for us?

The realities of trying to live minimally

It’s come to my notice that minimalism gets some bad rep.

Some people turn their noses up at the term suspiciously, others mock it and still more are just entirely confused at to what it really is. Well, the bad news is it can look like a variety of things so there isn’t just one way to really understand the term - but the good news is… that means you can make it into what it needs to be for you. It is as simple as that.

Minimalism isn’t about taking away everything from you and being miserable. It is about creating space for what is actually important, so you can thrive in the simplicity of life. Let’s debunk some of the myths and show you what it looks like for my family personally.

What Minimalism Does NOT look like for us:

• Wearing all white

• Having all white walls, furniture, that clean look of Ikea, spotless rooms

• Only having a handful of books

• Wearing the same clothes or colour every single day

• Eating the exact same meals every week

• Wearing the same shoes every day on repeat (that one is me, actually everyone else usually does!)

• Only having two toys per child at one time to play with

• Not celebrating birthdays

• Having an immaculate garage which has nothing in it (perhaps a car)

• Saying no to everything because minimalism means becoming a hermit

• Being so chilled all the time and saying, “yeah man” like we’re super cool and relaxed

• Throwing away all sentimental items from our childhood or our children’s infancy

• Having no scrapbooks or photo albums whatsoever

• Having no TV in the house

• Owning basically nothing

• Being a snob about other people having loads of stuff and judging them for it

What minimalism actually DOES look like for us:

• Keeping gifts to a practical minimum of what we think our kids need/will actually use

• Decluttering on a regular basis, donating things and being firm about what is actually being used and enjoyed

• Seeking the value in things, not just having more stuff, so we actually appreciate what we do have

• Hanging canvas artwork, family photos or handcrafted cross stitches on the walls, not filling every wall with lots of posters or pictures

• Keeping only what we use and need where possible: towels, shoes, coats, bedding, hats etc all to a minimum

• Learning the art of saying no kindly, if we need to keep our week simple, if it’s too much for our capacity right now or if it doesn’t align with the values we are creating for our family

• Not keeping lots of fancy crockery or items for ‘just in case this happens’ and if a need arises just borrowing things or getting disposable items if we have to

• Focussing on toys that our kids can be imaginative with and play with again and again, that are not just flashy and loud, but actually get them creating and learning

• Keeping the kids’ activities to a minimum, only saying yes to clubs or outings that will bring true value to them and us, so we do a balance of enough to keep them growing and learning, whilst not too much that we are exhausted

• Avoiding knick knacks and ornaments! Less to dust, less to break, more room to move and less background clutter that takes up mental space

• Resisting the urge to buy more things because they’re on sale! This is a hard one to learn and I still have to catch myself and say, ‘wait, do I need this? Am I falling for the trap of thinking I’m missing out?’

• Finding styles that work for our clothing as adults and trying to stick to what we are actually comfortable in and removing what we haven’t worn for ages

• Selling on or donating the clothes that no longer fit our youngest child

• Keeping books we love and will read again or reference, while utilising our libraries so we can borrow other books we only want to read once

• Going through old memorabilia and items we’ve collected to see if they still have sentimental value, keeping what genuinely does and donating what we were only keeping out of habit or because we thought we should

• Switching our ‘what if I need it?’ mentality to say, ‘can I just borrow or buy it again if I really need it in the future?’ so that we don’t fall into a trap of keeping random things because we fear we’ll suddenly need them

Minimalism can look so different for each family, so I don’t expect everyone to hold to the same values we do. For us, keeping our choices intentional and aligning them with what we value, means we end up with more headspace, time and energy for what matters most.

We are in no way perfect at this, I am still learning so much as I go, how to let go of what I have clung to out of habit and how to remind myself of what we value when I am making decisions.

What are some ways you are embracing minimalism in your life? How does living intentionally look for your family?